My Child in Danger

Abstract: There is a strong sycotic thread to be found in Lac lupinum (milk of wolf) concerning the Shadow and the Underworld. This case explores a woman’s attempt to experience a normal physiologic birth resulting in the death of her infant; and the events that followed, as the delusion that she placed her child in danger, played out in her life.
On 23rd May 2010, a patient whom I’d not seen for nearly three years came to see me again. She’s the mother of two; having lost her third child during labor when her uterus ruptured during an attempted VBAC. It had been a matter of deep disappointment to her that her first two labors failed to progress and had resulted in caesarian sections, so she searched for a hospital and obstetrician who would allow her a chance of a normal vaginal birth. She had a textbook of pregnancy which she thoroughly enjoyed and went into labour two days before the due date. She labored well and effectively. However, close to the transition when the contractions tend to increase in amplitude, she experienced a sudden sensation of tearing; a “zipping/pinging feeling” followed by excruciating pain when the midwife had stepped out of the room.
As it eventuated, although the hospital had promised her a VBAC, it was not, in fact, geared up for any eventuality of things going dramatically wrong and it was an hour before she was operated on, to remove her long-dead son during which time she came perilously close to losing her own life due to blood loss.
After her baby’s death, she and her husband afforded two whole days to
keep their son with them in the hospitalroom – where they bathed him and
cried over him while holding him in their arms. He was cremated and the
family held a ceremony at the beach by strewing rose petals onto the water.
At that time, a single seagull flew by and, since that time, she has come to
appreciate that her little one contacts her from the other side by means of a
feather (one found on her plate when they went out as a family to honour his
first birthday, being an example) or by the appearance of a moth or butterfly.
Another sign is the scent of the candle which they lit at his passing, was experienced at times of sadness; and the appearance of a rainbow is particularly poignant for triggering the grief as a double rainbow appeared in the sky when she went to the hospital to give birth to him.
At the time of this visit to see me it was a few days short of the third anniversary of his birth/death and some of the anger at her management had still to be resolved. She had become very interested in exploring the after life and was looking into becoming a Buddhist. She meditates daily and feels close to her son during those times. For her the feeling now was more one of love rather than loss and she wanted to set up a support group for others who have shared her experience. At the time of his death, she said to me: “We tried to give him the best possible welcome to the world, instead we ended up with a farewell. Our grief will be with us for a long time, but I believed that his love will make us stronger and will be
with us forever.”
Since I last saw her, she had lost a lot of weight simply though taking more care with her diet (smaller portions and more healthy food) and has
opened a Delicatessen which was a real change in career for her. “I’m craving flavour; good spices; organic food’!”
Currently, the business is not going well due to major renovations being
undertaken at the shopping centre. Workmen have walked off the job over
not having been paid (“ruthless landlord”) and her shop has become largely
inaccessible due to the upheaval, resulting in business stagnation.
“I wake in the early hours; often about 2 am with the business on my mind. I feel I’m in Limbo! What am I to do? What is going to happen? I have much capital invested in the shop and I need to grow the business. At the moment I am stuck; have very few options except to try and wait it out. Thinking about all this gives me knots in my tummy. “
Any well-remembered dreams recently or in the past?
“A few time before 9/11, I had a dream of roaming the streets of New York; crying; feeling very upset over something. I never had it again after the twin towers fell. Another dream that I vividly remember having a few times when I was younger was of sitting on a toilet with my pants down around my ankles and the door wouldn’t close!”
Anything else?
“Yes my thermostat seems to be out of whack. My legs and feet are constantly cold. My upper body can be fine; hot even; but my feet freezing such that I need to have a hot shower to warm them up.”
Prescription and Rationale
Lac Lupinum 1M a dose each evening for three days. The last dose is to be
taken on the 28th May which is the full moon and the 3rd anniversary of her
baby’s death.
Rubrics1,2:
Mind: Dwells on past disagreeable occurrences
Mind: Delusion; bankruptcy; business is going to fail
Mind: Escape; att empts to; strategy; concern about
Mind: Fear; dreams of; terrible
Sleep: Restless; tossing about in sleep
Sleep: Sleeplessness; night; thoughts,from insomnia; going to bed, on insomnia; repeated thoughts, from waking; 4-5 am waking; dreams, from
Dreams: Toilet using, while being observed
Dreams: War zone; caught up in
Dreams: New York; journey to
Dreams: Dead friends; talking with (this refers to her meditation)
Stomach: Desires spices; condiments; piquant food
Extremities: Coldness; foot
Discussion
Lac Lupinum is a remedy that is much aligned with Sycosis….the Shadow;
the Underworld and it is interesting that she chose the word Limbo to describe her current situation. Limbo [Latin; limbus: edge or boundary] is a
speculative aspect of the Christian tradition that defines a place to which
souls who die unbaptised (i.e. still in the grip of Original Sin) are consigned
for Eternity. She is still very attached to the energy of her litt le one. And so,
that she describes herself as being in Limbo is intriguing, as themes of Outsider; Trapped and Displaced are integral to the understanding of Lac Lupinum.
(That is why dreams of war or a journey to New York, a haven for
displaced refugees after WWII, may feature in a case!)
Furthermore, because of the strong after life focus that she maintains, some other dream rubrics are significant as they corroborate her basic delusion
that her actions in seeking fulfi llment through vaginal birth [Female: pelvis;
sense of power in: lac-lup] put her baby in danger and denied him a chance at Life.
These dream rubrics include:
Dreams: Identity lost
Dreams: Maze, in; trying to avoid being trapped enclosure; restricted, in pursued burning building, in; fire, by old building, through trapped; no way
out
Dreams: Danger; children, to; death; drowning; impending danger; perils
of, encountered; hiding, from
It is acknowledged that she did not specif cally report having these
particular dreams. However, the understanding that this was her baby’s
experience is part of what she continues to work through. The bottom line
being that on some level she believes that her choice put her baby’s life in
danger.
Several weeks after taking Lac Lupinum she sent me an email:
“I have been thinking about the remedy for a while now and would like to share my experience with you. I took my first dose on Monday as
advised and followed with the next on Tuesday and Wednesday (it being the
full moon). I was expecting a small reaction initially; but, to my dismay, nothing happened in the first two days. Then, on Wednesday night we went to bed and were chatting while lying down almost ready to drop off to sleep. Suddenly (mid-sentence) I felt this overwhelming “energy” coming directly from above me as if from the moon, and unravelling what seemed like a woollen jumper that was my body, pulling out many long and thick strands
of “wool”. I could feel an almost pulling sensation as each loop was undone. This mainly came from my navel/heart area. The threads were then, as they were being pulled up towards the sky, turned into giant snakes with Aboriginal-like dot markings on them.
I was trying to explain to my husband what was happening at the time, but
was unable to string a sentence together (pardon the pun). As this was happening, I was feeling that a lot of the negative thoughts that I have been harbouring for a long time were being unravelled as well. Some of these would go back as far as 15 years ago, and were things that I used to dwell on and bring up from time to time to discuss with my husband and it always
caused friction between us. Since this particular night I see those events in a different light and they no longer play an important role in my thinking. For this I am grateful. Thank you for sorting me out.”
There is an intriguing sensation as if rubric in the chest section of the Lac
Lupinum materia medica [Chest: s/if; someone took a knife to my sternum] which has appeared in several guises (both physical and psychological) in
several cases now, such that I consider it as a keynote symptom.
Follow-up three months later Subsequently she sustained “a whopper of a cold/fl u… gett ing rid of some cobwebs”. Aft er that she felt full of energy
such that she got back into yoga again. [Modalities: movement; dance;
activity amel: lac-lup] 3 The situation regarding her Deli has balanced out. She decided to sit out the renovation ordeal, after coming to the conclusion that there was not much she could do, as selling it in a half-finished centre was not an attractive prospect for any buyer and closing down and walking away would have meant losing her investment (“and perhaps my pride would not allow for it either”). Financially, she has managed to stay in front and has been able to retain her staff .
Moreover, the Deli has been nominated as a finalist in the Business
Achiever Awards (voted by customers) and got three stars in the EatWell
initiative (“restaurant owners who have been at the game for longer than
myself only got three stars so I feel I’ve done well”) and she has decided to approach one of her very good employees to become a business partner.
She knows that her medicine was the milk of the wolf and, with a wry smile, said: “So I guess the wolf sees it through the cold winter; a little bit battered and hungry. I feel that having a partner will give me a new scope on the business; someone I can throw ideas around with and talk to, as well as looking after the business when I’m not there (just to name a few positives).
I have not taken the step lightly but feel it is a wise one, and aft er asking her
I felt a huge sense of relief… and am not waking up in the middle of the night.” Assilem nominates that the need for a profound relationship is the key.
Lac lupinum issue and this, possibly, has contributed to her desire to remain
so connected to her little one. However, she describes her connection with
her son as being very much on a ‘universal’ level these days. “Now I no longer feel that he is with me (actually, when I look back on it, that intensity left almost exactly one year aft er we lost him). These days I can only sense his immediate presence on rare occasions; I think this year only twice. I get the feeling that he has ‘moved’ on and I hope that he’s making someone very happy in his role as a new bub. [Themes: Circles; Spirals (linked
to the Wheel of Karma)] I have not made any moves on establishing
a forum, as the Deli and doing a bit of freelance work, have kept me busy”.
So the rubric [Mind: …strategy, concern, about] takes on a positive perspective more in keeping with the alertness of the wolf and she is no longer plagued with the sense that her decision to have a physiologic birth
placed her baby in grave danger. All is in perfection; and the wolf is the
most noble of the canids!
References
1 Hatherly P The Lacs A Materia Medica & Repertory AEN Pty. Ltd. 2010; Brisbane
2 Herrick N: Animal Mind, Human Voices Hahnemann Clinic Publishing 1998; Nevada City
3 Assilem M: The Call of the Wild Society of Homeopaths national conference Sept 1997; UK
Author: Patricia Hatherly
Source: The Homoeopathic Heritage, December 2010