Adulthood: Don't Smoke it away - Homeopathy helps! - homeopathy360
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Adulthood: Don't Smoke it away – Homeopathy helps!

After the white water rapids of adolescence, adulthood represents a passage into calmer water. But there will still be opportunities to tackle any unresolved psychological problems, not least with the arrival of children. It is as parents that we have to relieve Freud’s stages of development for a third time, and the fact that our children often closely resemble us makes this a fascinating experience. The first child’s constitution often resembles that of the father, while the second face with his or her own qualities and feelings. Ideally a mother should give her baby total, unconditional love throughout pregnancy and during the first few months, before allowing to find his independence during the second year, at the same time, she has to manage the relationship with her partner and often her child as well. These three responsibilities don’t always mix, and it can prove very difficult to be a good mother a good wife and a dedicated professional, all at the same time. This helps to explain why so many couples break up, after so many years of living together. When this happens there is an even greater temptation for the mother to withdraw into the relationship with her child, she may hold him in such a right bond of love that he is later unable to cut the ties with the help of his father and thereby become autonomous. It is still tragically common for a child to lose contact with its father following a divorce.
“SEPIA” presents the caricature of the woman who is permanently exhausted from having to manage not only the care and education of her children, but also the relationship with her partner and her professional life ,physically she is chilly with ice cold extremities ,frequently constipated ,and may carry a “mask of pregnancy” from her last child. Her week end migraines enable her to dodge her “marital duties” and avoid falling pregnant again. The father, meanwhile, needs to accept his partner’s fusional bond with their baby during the pregnancy and avoid falling prey to extreme jealously. Some fathers feel unloved at this time and become unfaithful, or they may even abandon the mother and child all together in the search for new pastures, some times the same scenario repeats itself again and again. Every time the woman becomes pregnant, she enters into such a total state of fusion with the baby that there is nothing left for the father and he leaves eventually. The woman is left with two or three children from different father, all of whom have vanished into the ether. After the birth, the child‘s father needs to adopt the thankless role of boundary setter. He needs to be the one who says no and in particular, no you can’t sleep in your mother’s bed any longer –there by expressing this boundary verbally, some strong –willed children react by turning their back on the father for several years. Later on, the father –whose role is to introduce his children into society –must be prepared to be overtaken by his children, to let them find their own way and plan their life themselves. This is especially true in adolescence, when the young person needs to follow his or her unique path rather than being a slave to his parent’s views. This is what the Bible means when it says “you will leave your mother and your father”.
Finally it is often the father who assumes the material responsibilities and worries of the family, the danger here is that his professional life will take over every thing. Through fear of poverty, love of his work, or the desire for social recognition, some fathers become so caught up in their job that they end up being absent fathers. They too must learn to juggle their time, recognize that nobody is indispensable and delegate to others.
Nux vomica” is hyper active and obsessive –every thing has to be perfect. He over extends himself with the abuse of coffee and other stimulants such as spices ,pepper and so on behind the façade , he has a fear of failure and poverty ,his immediate problem is one of digestive over load ,indicated by a yellow coating over the base of the tongue .
Ambra grisea” wants to do everything himself and is incapable of delegating. Hopeless at setting boundaries, he allows himself to be invaded and abused and is extremely susceptible to other people’s negativity.
“Lycopodium” over does in his bid for power and bullies those around him, who have to be at his every beck and call. He only feels good when he’s away from his family.
“Aurum” seeks social status, he needs to obtain gold, respect and power so that he can then distribute his wealth to his entire extended family but forgets to give the important things–time and love.
 “Natrum muriaticum” is the father who never says a word, he always seems to be some where else so completely absorbed is he by his own problems. He actually does not know how to communicate or talk about the little things in life, because he too had an absent father.
DIVORCE
Children are always profoundly affected by a divorce, since they are themselves the physical manifestation of their parents union. It is very difficult to have a successful divorce when the marriage has been a failure! It takes great tolerance to see one’s former partner settle down with some one else and be able to accept it. The formation of new couples frequently leads to jealous scenes, which are a throw back to unresolved oedipal complexes. Children often need  “Ignatia” to help them come to terms with being separated from one of the parents and “ Lachesis” on the arrival of their new half- brothers and half-sisters. Parents should take care to avoid criticizing the absent parent in front of their children, a child is made half from the father and half from the mother , so that half the child suffers when the mother criticizes the father and the other half suffers when the father criticizes the mother , the child ends up as a monument to suffering . When a person divorces he will often go back to being under thumb of his parents, who he has never left psychologically. I saw one of my patients –a 50 years old father of three –move back in with his seventy year old mother.
ALCOHOLISM
It is because it is such a good anxiolytic that adults often use it to forget their problems. However they thereby run into the risk of becoming dependent and turning into alcoholics.
“Lachesis” is the typical drinker –lively and talkative but extremely jealous, to the extent that he may turn violent. He seeks fusional relationships and marries some one who will be as much a mother to him as a wife.
“Nux vomica” gets angry at the slightest thing. He immediately starts to swear and curse and may become violent, breaking things and hitting out. Hyper active and constantly over worked, he relies on stimulants to keep him going.
“Zincum metallicum” is for alcoholics who start to deteriorate on the neurological level. They have marked trembling and restlessness of the lower limbs, and often have an unresolved dispute with some authority figure or with the police – a symbolic representation of their father ,who was too strict with them when they were little and only ever expressed himself by shouting.
CIGARETTE SMOKING
This is a habit that needs to be dropped before the whole family becomes ill through passive inhalation of tobacco smoke. Smokers are often people who have problems moving on to each successive stage in their lives and as we have seen, use vegetable charcoal as a stimulant. The children of smokers cough a lot and this is a known cause of many a Monday morning cough if the previous Sunday was spent surrounded by cigarette smoke.
“Carbo vegetabilis” is the key remedy for helping people to wean themselves off using cigarettes –something that should be done gradually by smoking one less cigarette everyday.
“Tabacum” and “Caladium” can also be used as supports if necessary . “Caladium” wants to live in a haze of smoke so that he can’t see the painful details of his life.
TRANQUILIZERS AND SLEEPING TABLETS
Tranquilizers are another trap to be avoided, if at all possible, since they are highly addictive. So many people can no longer sleep or lead a normal life with out the help of these “miracle pills” which enable them to avoid tackling the most basic issues in their lives. After several years of this type of symptomatic treatment, awareness, thinking, imagination, and memory all start to fail and the patient slides towards senility and loss of independence. They need to wake up, take the proverbial bull by the horns and talk to some one who will really listen to them and accompany them on their internal journey.
Every problem has a solution that we need to go out and look for –that is what it means to be a true adult.
 

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